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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Hope
Given
Unhappy
Blame

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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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A man's head is his castle.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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