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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Passed
Letters
Went
Adverb
Death
Adverbs
Hands
Adjective
Every
Adjectives
Declared
Letter
More quotes by Joseph Heller
Everybody is as unstable as water.
Joseph Heller
Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller
Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
Joseph Heller
I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
Joseph Heller
Insanity is contagious.
Joseph Heller
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
Joseph Heller
I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
Joseph Heller
The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
Joseph Heller
In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
Joseph Heller
I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
Joseph Heller
It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
Joseph Heller
The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
Joseph Heller
I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
Joseph Heller
There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
Joseph Heller
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Joseph Heller
