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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Permitted
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Questions
Asks
Never
People
Colonel
Colonels

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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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A man's head is his castle.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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