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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Never
People
Colonel
Colonels
Permitted
Rule
Questions
Asks

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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Insanity is contagious.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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