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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Captain
Wet
Captains
Answered
Frankly
Rain
Rains
More quotes by Joseph Heller
There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
Joseph Heller
Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
Joseph Heller
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller
When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
Joseph Heller
Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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A man's head is his castle.
Joseph Heller
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
Joseph Heller
The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Joseph Heller
The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
Joseph Heller
Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
Joseph Heller
