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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Wet
Captains
Answered
Frankly
Rain
Rains
Captain
More quotes by Joseph Heller
The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Insanity is contagious.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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