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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Subjects
Name
Diplomatically
Names
Pointed
Two
Thankful
Change
Miserable
Every
Changing
Things
Subject
Decided

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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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