Quote

Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.

Joseph Heller

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Things
Subject
Decided
Subjects
Name
Diplomatically
Names
Pointed
Two
Thankful
Change
Miserable
Every
Changing

More quotes by Joseph Heller

Image
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Image
where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
Joseph Heller
Image
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
Image
Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller
Image
There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
Joseph Heller
Image
Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
Joseph Heller
Image
Insanity is contagious.
Joseph Heller
Image
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller
Image
And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller
Image
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
Image
I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
Image
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller
Image
Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
Image
The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
Joseph Heller
Image
When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
Joseph Heller
Image
What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
Joseph Heller
Image
It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
Joseph Heller
Image
History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
Joseph Heller
Image
Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
Joseph Heller
Image
There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
Joseph Heller