Quote

Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Subjects
Name
Diplomatically
Names
Pointed
Thankful
Two
Miserable
Change
Changing
Every
Subject
Things
Decided

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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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