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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Cat
Hungry
Nightmares
Finished
Fist
Fighting
Screaming
Better
Fists
Something
Fights
Time
Nightmare
Missions

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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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