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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Lives
Light
Marlboro
Take
Packet
Lights
Nowhere
Drive
Middle
Talk
More quotes by Joseph Heller
I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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And anything worth dying for
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller
