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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Always
Expensive
Peace
War
Enough
More quotes by Joseph Heller
History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
Joseph Heller
He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
Joseph Heller
Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
Joseph Heller
In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
Joseph Heller
Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
Joseph Heller
The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
Joseph Heller
The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
Joseph Heller
Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
Joseph Heller
Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller
Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
Joseph Heller
Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
Joseph Heller
I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
Joseph Heller
Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
Joseph Heller
I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
Joseph Heller
Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
Joseph Heller
All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
Joseph Heller
I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
Joseph Heller