Quote

It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Convinced
Guess
Whose
Honest
Wise
Liar
Persons
Bob
Person
Liars
Dumb

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
Joseph Heller
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
Joseph Heller
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
Joseph Heller
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
Joseph Heller
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
Joseph Heller
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
Joseph Heller
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
Joseph Heller
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
Joseph Heller
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Insanity is contagious.
Joseph Heller
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
Joseph Heller
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
Joseph Heller
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
Joseph Heller
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
Joseph Heller
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
Joseph Heller