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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Whose
Honest
Wise
Liar
Persons
Bob
Person
Liars
Dumb
Convinced
Guess

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Insanity is contagious.
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And anything worth dying for
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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A man's head is his castle.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
Joseph Heller