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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Dumb
Convinced
Guess
Whose
Honest
Wise
Liar
Persons
Bob
Person
Liars

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
Joseph Heller
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Insanity is contagious.
Joseph Heller
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
Joseph Heller
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
Joseph Heller
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
Joseph Heller
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
Joseph Heller
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
Joseph Heller
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
Joseph Heller
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
Joseph Heller
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
Joseph Heller
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
Joseph Heller
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And anything worth dying for
Joseph Heller
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
Joseph Heller
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
Joseph Heller
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
Joseph Heller
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
Joseph Heller