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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Achieve
Someone
Better
Numbing
Achieving
Disappointment
Envy
More quotes by Joseph Heller
I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
Joseph Heller
For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
Joseph Heller
If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
Joseph Heller
Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
Joseph Heller
Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
Joseph Heller
All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller
Rise above principal and do what's right.
Joseph Heller
There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
Joseph Heller
Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
Joseph Heller
I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
Joseph Heller
From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Joseph Heller
I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
Joseph Heller
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
Joseph Heller
I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
Joseph Heller
Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
Joseph Heller
The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
Joseph Heller
A man's head is his castle.
Joseph Heller