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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Magazines
Knee
Brought
Knife
Justice
Knives
Dark
Magazine
Underhanded
Word
Warning
Battleship
Tell
Floor
Sneaky
Night
Guts
Chin
Without
Knees
Chins
More quotes by Joseph Heller
I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller
I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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A man's head is his castle.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
Joseph Heller