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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Justice
Knives
Dark
Magazine
Underhanded
Word
Warning
Battleship
Tell
Floor
Sneaky
Night
Guts
Chin
Without
Knees
Chins
Magazines
Knee
Brought
Knife
More quotes by Joseph Heller
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller
Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
Joseph Heller
I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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Insanity is contagious.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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Everybody is as unstable as water.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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I can't start writing until I have a closing line.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
Joseph Heller