Quote

I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Magazines
Knee
Brought
Knife
Justice
Knives
Dark
Magazine
Underhanded
Word
Warning
Battleship
Tell
Floor
Sneaky
Night
Guts
Chin
Without
Knees
Chins

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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And anything worth dying for
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
Joseph Heller