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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Miracle
Bona
Honest
Ingredient
Three
Slam
Real
Bang
Bangs
Ingredients
Immense
Fisted
Goodness
Fide

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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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And anything worth dying for
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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