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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Three
Slam
Real
Bang
Bangs
Ingredients
Immense
Fisted
Goodness
Fide
Miracle
Bona
Honest
Ingredient

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
Joseph Heller
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
Joseph Heller
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
Joseph Heller
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
Joseph Heller
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
Joseph Heller
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
Joseph Heller
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
Joseph Heller
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
Joseph Heller