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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Bang
Real
Bangs
Ingredients
Fisted
Immense
Fide
Goodness
Bona
Miracle
Ingredient
Honest
Slam
Three

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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller