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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Suffering
War
Must
Going
People
Complaining
Suffer
Winning

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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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