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Rise above principal and do what's right.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Right
Principal
Rise

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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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