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Rise above principal and do what's right.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Principal
Rise
Right

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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared of going crazy.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller