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Insanity is contagious.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Contagious
Insanity

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
Joseph Heller
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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A man's head is his castle.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Joseph Heller
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
Joseph Heller
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
Joseph Heller
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
Joseph Heller
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
Joseph Heller