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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Grow
Boys
Grows
Inspirational
Littles
Little
Play
Children
Son

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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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It is the anonymous they, the enigmatic they who are in charge. Who is they? I don't know. Nobody knows. Not even they themselves.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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I think that maybe inside any business, there is someone slowly going crazy
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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