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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Boys
Grows
Inspirational
Littles
Little
Play
Children
Son
Grow

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
Joseph Heller
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
Joseph Heller