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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Lack
Failure
Nobody
Effort
Success
Self
Made
Men
Owed

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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Now you've given them hope, and they're unhappy. So the blame is all yours.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy ... There's a catch. Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't, don't call it destiny call it injustice, treachery, or simple bad luck.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
Joseph Heller