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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Self
Made
Men
Owed
Lack
Failure
Nobody
Effort
Success

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
Joseph Heller
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Maybe a long life does have to be filled with many unpleasant conditions if it's to seem long. But in that event, who wants one?
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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Insanity is contagious.
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And anything worth dying for
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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All through the night, men looked at the sky and were saddened by the stars.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
Joseph Heller
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller