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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
Joseph Heller
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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Made
Men
Owed
Lack
Failure
Nobody
Effort
Success
Self
More quotes by Joseph Heller
The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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Nurse Duckett found Yossarian wonderful and was already trying to change him.
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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Well then I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?
Joseph Heller
You're an intelligent person of great moral character who has taken a very courageous stand. I'm an intelligent person with no moral character at all, so I'm in an ideal position to appreciate it.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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He was sick with lust and mesmerized with regret
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
Joseph Heller
Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
Joseph Heller