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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Hygiene
Sarcastic
Except
Knew
Literature
Enjoy
Everything

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in His divine system of Creation? What in the world was running through that warped, evil, scatological mind of His when He robbed old people of the power to control their bowel movements?
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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A man's head is his castle.
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Insanity is contagious.
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Rise above principal and do what's right.
Joseph Heller
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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The enemy, retorted Yossarian with weighted precision, is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on, and that includes Colonel Cathcart. And don't you forget that, because the longer you remember it, the longer you might live.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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There is no disappointment so numbing...as someone no better than you achieving more.
Joseph Heller
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
Joseph Heller
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
Joseph Heller
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
Joseph Heller