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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Except
Knew
Literature
Enjoy
Everything
Hygiene
Sarcastic

More quotes by Joseph Heller

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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as 'Catch-22' I'm tempted to reply, 'Who has?'
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Where were you born? On a battlefield, [Yossarian] answered. No, no. In what state were you born? In a state of innocence.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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I don't understand the process of imagination-though I know that I am very much at its mercy.
Joseph Heller
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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mankind is resilient: the atrocities that horrified us a week ago become acceptable tomorrow.
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What is a country? A country is a piece of land surrounded on all sides by boundaries, usually unnatural. Englishmen are dying for England, Americans are dying for America, Germans are dying for Germany, Russians are dying for Russia. There are now fifty or sixty countries fighting in this war. Surely so many countries can't all be worth dying for.
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I am miracle ingredient Z-247. I'm immense. I'm a real, slam-bang, honest-to-goodness, three-fisted humdinger. I'm a bona fide supraman.
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The body stores the trauma of our lives in muscular rigidity, thereby keeping us stuck in the past. When we release the tension in the body and align ourselves with gravity, we take a new stand in life. This allows us to be at ease with ourselves and in harmony in our relationship to others and to our planet.
Joseph Heller
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¨ Oh, I´m not complaining. I know there´s a war on. I know a lot of people are going to have to suffer for us to win it. But why must I be one of them?¨
Joseph Heller
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Something did happen to me somewhere that robbed me of confidence and courage and left me with a fear of discovery and change and a positive dread of everything unknown that may occur.
Joseph Heller
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
Joseph Heller
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
Joseph Heller
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I wouldn't want to live without strong misgivings.
Joseph Heller