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He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Sarcastic
Except
Knew
Literature
Enjoy
Everything
Hygiene

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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
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Let's take a drive into the middle of nowhere with a packet of Marlboro lights and talk about our lives.
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Yossarian decided to change the subject. Now you're changing the subject. he pointed out diplomatically. I'll bet I can name two things to be miserable about for every one you can name to be thankful for.
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Just for once I'd like to see all these things sort of straightened out, with each person getting exactly what he deserves. It might give me some confidence in this universe.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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I'll tell you what justice is. Justice is a knee in the gut from the floor on the chin at night sneaky with a knife brought up down on the magazine of a battleship sandbagged underhanded in the dark without a word of warning
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The night was full of horrors, and he thought he knew how Christ must have felt as he walked through the world, like a psychiatrist through a ward full of nuts.
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It's a wise person, I guess, who knows he's dumb, and an honest person who knows he's a liar. And it's a dumb person, I guess, whose convinced he's wise...-Bob Slocum
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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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where are the snowdens of yesteryear?
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A man's head is his castle.
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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Erogenous zones are either everywhere or nowhere.
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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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They couldn't keep Death out, but while she was in she had to act like a lady.
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