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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Dies
Live
Farewell
Retirement
Immortality
Attempt
Atheism
Decided
Forever

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Everything passes. (That's what makes it endurable.)
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Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.
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What do you do when it rains? The captain answered frankly. I get wet.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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It made him proud that 29 months in the service had not blunted his genius for ineptitude.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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All of our religions but the Judaic and the Greek think more of us dead than alive.
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From men motivated by moral certitude, history teaches, no lasting good ever comes.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Gold was not altogether certain what, anatomically, a gorge was, but he knew that his was rising.
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History was a trash bag of random coincidences torn open in a wind. Surely, Watt with his steam engine, Faraday with his electric motor, and Edison with his incandescent light bulb did not have it as their goal to contribute to a fuel shortage some day that would place their countries at the mercy of Arab oil.
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I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.
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Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three. Even among men lacking all distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed by how unimpressive he was.
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The promises of maniacs, like those of women, are not safely relied upon.
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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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There was no telling what people might find out once they felt free to ask whatever questions they wanted to.
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In short, Clevinger was one of those people with lots of intelligence and no brains, and everyone knew it except those who soon found it out.
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If God was dead, how could I feel this bad?
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