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Some people are born mediocre, some people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them.

Joseph Heller

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Joseph Heller
Age: 76 †
Born: 1923
Born: May 1
Died: 1999
Died: December 10
Autobiographer
Journalist
Novelist
Playwright
Prosaist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Mediocre
Mediocrity
Humorous
Achieve
Upon
Success
Born
People
Thrust

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Under Colonel Korn's rule, the only people permitted to ask questions were those who never did.
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If character is destiny, the good are damned.
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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I've come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn't be too difficult for me.
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The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.
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Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.
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Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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I could not write about a subject sacred to me because I would be too flippant. Fortunately, there are no subjects sacred to me.
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The country was in peril he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
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If Richard Nixon was second-rate, what in the world is third-rate?
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Nately had a bad start. He came from a good family.
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For war there is always enough. It's peace that's expensive.
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I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.
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A man's head is his castle.
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And anything worth dying for
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...[A]nything worth dying for ... is certainly worth living for.
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Hasn't it ever occurred to you that in your promiscuous pursuit of women you are merely trying to assuage your subconscious fears of sexual impotence? Yes, sir, it has. Then why do you do it? To assuage my fears of sexual impotence.
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Only Hungry Joe had something better to do each time he finished his missions. He had screaming nightmares and won fist fights with Huple's cat.
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The laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren't paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
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