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Men of wit, learning and virtue might strike out every offensive or unbecoming passage from plays.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Learning
Passage
Virtue
Passages
Might
Offensive
Play
Strike
Every
Wit
Men
Plays
Strikes
Drama
Unbecoming

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A lie is an excuse guarded
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So, naturalists observe, a flea Hath smaller fleas that on him prey And these have smaller fleas to bite 'em, And so proceed ad infinitum.
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Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.
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Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs, Forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs.
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It is with wits as with razors, which are never so apt to cut those they are employed on as when they have lost their edge.
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A Child will make two Dishes at an Entertainment for Friends and when the Family dines alone, the fore or hind Quarter will makea reasonable Dish and seasoned with a little Pepper or Salt, will be very good Boiled on the fourth Day, especially in Winter.
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If a man will observe as he walks the streets, I believe he will find the merriest countenances in mourning coaches.
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They say fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.
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Careful observers may foretell the hour (By sure prognostics) when to dread a show'r. While rain depends, the pensive cat gives o'er Her frolics, and pursues her tail no more.
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For, if we take an examination of what is generally understood by happiness, as it has respect either to the understanding or the senses, we shall find all its properties and adjuncts will herd under this short definition: that it is a perpetual possession of being well deceived.
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Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. May you live all the days of your life.
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Pride, ill nature, and want of sense, are the three great sources of ill manners.
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What we call the Irish Brogue is no sooner discovered, than it makes the deliverer, in the last degree, ridiculous and despised and, from such a mouth, an Englishman expects nothing but bulls, blunders, and follies.
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Hereditary right should be kept sacred, not from any inalienable right in a particular family, but to avoid the consequences that usually attend the ambition of competitors.
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I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.
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It is the first rule in oratory that a man must appear such as he would persuade others to be: and that can be accomplished only by the force of his life.
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This wine should be eaten, it is too good to be drunk.
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Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.
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Unjustly poets we asperse: Truth shines the brighter clad in verse, And all the fictions they pursue Do but insinuate what is true.
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111 company is like a dog, who dirts those most whom he loves best.
Jonathan Swift