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Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Circumstances
Wit
Hell
Check
Wonderful
Checks
Taken
Twenty
Word
Twenties
Heaven
Seriously
Religion
Supposed
Sacraments
Atheism
Humour

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Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.
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Men who possess all the advantages of life are in a state where there are many accidents to disorder and discompose, but few to please them.
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Philosophy! the lumber of the schools.
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Your onions should be thoroughly boiled.
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The lack of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome.
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I am of the level with common Astrologers who, with an old paltry cant, and a few pot-hooks for planets to amuse the vulgar, have too long been suffered to abuse the world.
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It is very unfair in any writer to employ ignorance and malice together, because it gives his answerer double work.
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An intelligent person should put money in the beginning, but not in heart
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A wise man will find us to be rogues by our faces.
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Rebukes are easy from our betters, From men of quality and letters But when low dunces will affront, What man alive can stand the brunt?
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The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.
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There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.
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Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs, Forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs.
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Though fear should lend him pinions like the wind, yet swifter fate will seize him from behind.
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We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
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There never appear more than five or six men of genius in an age, but if they were united the world could not stand before them.
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I shall be like that tree-I shall die at the top.
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When men grow virtuous in their old age, they only make a sacrifice to God of the devil's leavings.
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Love why do we one passion call, When 'tis a compound of them all? Where hot and cold, where sharp and sweet, In all their equipages meet Where pleasures mix'd with pains appear, Sorrow with joy, and hope with fear.
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What they do in heaven we are ignorant of what they do not do we are told expressly.
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