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Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Heaven
Seriously
Religion
Supposed
Sacraments
Atheism
Humour
Circumstances
Wit
Hell
Check
Wonderful
Checks
Taken
Twenty
Word
Twenties

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Pride, ill nature, and want of sense, are the three great sources of ill manners.
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A lie is an excuse guarded
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Bread is the staff of life.
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Reasoning will never make a man correct an ill opinion, which by reasoning he never acquired
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For to enter the palace of learning at the great gate requires an expense of time and forms, therefore men of much haste and little ceremony are content to get in by the back-door
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The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.
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I won't quarrel with my bread and butter.
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Although the devil be the father of lies, he seems, like other great inventors, to have lost much of his reputation by the continual improvements that have been made upon him.
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No man will take counsel, but every man will take money. Therefore, money is better than counsel.
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It is very unfair in any writer to employ ignorance and malice together, because it gives his answerer double work.
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Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.
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This wine should be eaten, it is too good to be drunk.
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A chuck under the chin is worth two kisses.
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I'm up and down and round about, Yet all the world can't find me out Though hundreds have employed their leisure, They never yet could find my measure.
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My Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will.
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A wise man will find us to be rogues by our faces.
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Lord, Madame, I have fed like a farmer I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.
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Religion seems to have grown an infant with age, and requires miracles to nurse it, as it had in its infancy.
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I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.
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Triumphant Tories, and desponding Whigs, Forget their feuds, and join to save their wigs.
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