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It is with wits as with razors, which are never so apt to cut those they are employed on as when they have lost their edge.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Lost
Never
Razors
Wits
Employed
Wit
Edge
Edges
Cutting

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They say fingers were made before forks, and hands before knives.
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Though Diogenes lived in a tub, there might be, for aught I know, as much pride under his rags, as in the fine-spun garments of the divine Plato.
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My Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will.
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I am of the level with common Astrologers who, with an old paltry cant, and a few pot-hooks for planets to amuse the vulgar, have too long been suffered to abuse the world.
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By the laws of God, of nature, of nations, and of your country you are and ought to be as free a people as your brethren in England.
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Kitchen Physic is the best Physic.
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There is no quality so contrary to any nature which one cannot affect, and put on upon occasion, in order to serve an interest.
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We are so fond on one another because our ailments are the same.
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Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.
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'T is an old maxim in the schools, That flattery 's the food of fools Yet now and then your men of wit Will condescend to take a bit.
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There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake.
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I row after health like a waterman.
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No man will take counsel, but every man will take money. Therefore, money is better than counsel.
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It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.
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Hail, follow, well met, All dirty and wet: Find out, if you can, Who's master, who's man.
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How often do we contradict the right rules of reason in the whole course of our lives! Reason itself is true and just, but the reason of every particular man is weak and wavering, perpetually swayed and turned by his interests, his passions, and his vices.
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All panegyrics are mingled with an infusion of poppy.
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Arbitrary power is but the first natural step from anarchy, or the savage life.
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Tis nothing when you are used to it.
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This is every cook's opinion - no savory dish without an onion, but lest your kissing should be spoiled your onions must be fully boiled.
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