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Surely mortal man is a broomstick!

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Surely
Men
Broomstick
Broomsticks
Mortal
Mortals

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That was excellently observed’, say I, when I read a passage in an author, where his opinion agrees with mine. When we differ, there I pronounce him to be mistaken.
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Few are qualified to shine in company, but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.
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I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me spade.
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My horses understand me tolerably well I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle they live in great amity with me, and friendship of each other.
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Polite Conversation Why, everyone one as they like as the good woman said when she kissed her cow.
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My Lawyer being practiced almost from his Cradle in defending Falsehood is quite out of his Element when he would be an Advocate for Justice, which as an Office unnatural, he always attempts with great Awkwardness if not with Ill-will.
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It is pleasant to observe how free the present age is in laying taxes on the next. Future ages shall talk of this they shall be famous to all posterity whereas their time and thoughts will be taken up about present things, as ours are now.
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There are few wild beasts more to be dreaded than a talking man having nothing to say.
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An intelligent person should put money in the beginning, but not in heart
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Positiveness is a good quality for preachers and speakers because, whoever shares his thoughts with the public will convince them as he himself appears convinced.
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The first springs of great events, like those of great rivers, are often mean and little.
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Rebukes are easy from our betters, From men of quality and letters But when low dunces will affront, What man alive can stand the brunt?
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My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.
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The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.
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They say fish should swim thrice * * * first it should swim in the sea (do you mind me?) then it should swim in butter, and at last, sirrah, it should swim in good claret.
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I row after health like a waterman.
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The affectation of some late authors to introduce and multiply cant words is the most ruinous corruption in any language.
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Would a writer know how to behave himself with relation td posterity? Let him consider in old books what he finds that he is glad to know, and what omissions he most laments.
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Though fear should lend him pinions like the wind, yet swifter fate will seize him from behind.
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Your onions should be thoroughly boiled.
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