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A college joke to cure the dumps.
Jonathan Swift
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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
College
Dumps
Dump
Cure
Cures
Joke
Jokes
More quotes by Jonathan Swift
Story-telling is subject to two unavoidable defects,--frequent repetition and being soon exhausted so that, whoever values this gift in himself, has need of a good memory, and ought frequently to shift his company.
Jonathan Swift
It often happens that, if a lie be believed only for an hour, it has done its work, and there is no further occasion for it.
Jonathan Swift
I am of the level with common Astrologers who, with an old paltry cant, and a few pot-hooks for planets to amuse the vulgar, have too long been suffered to abuse the world.
Jonathan Swift
Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.
Jonathan Swift
Sweeping from butcher's stalls, dung, guts, and blood, Drown'd puppies, stinking sprats, all drench'd in mud, Dead cats, and turnip-tops, come tumbling down the flood.
Jonathan Swift
Reason is a very light rider, and easily shook off.
Jonathan Swift
It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.
Jonathan Swift
He was a fiddler, and consequently a rogue.
Jonathan Swift
I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land, or water.
Jonathan Swift
My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.
Jonathan Swift
I can discover no political evil in suffering bullies, sharpers, and rakes, to rid the world of each other by a method of their own where the law hath not been able to find an expedient.
Jonathan Swift
The first springs of great events, like those of great rivers, are often mean and little.
Jonathan Swift
Real vision is the ability to see the invisible.
Jonathan Swift
As love without esteem is capricious and volatile esteem without love is languid and cold.
Jonathan Swift
The more careless, the more modish.
Jonathan Swift
Flattery is the worst and falsest way of showing our esteem.
Jonathan Swift
The affectation of some late authors to introduce and multiply cant words is the most ruinous corruption in any language.
Jonathan Swift
You cannot reason a person out of something they were not reasoned into.
Jonathan Swift
The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style.
Jonathan Swift
Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth, and judgment of age.
Jonathan Swift