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A college joke to cure the dumps.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Cures
Joke
Jokes
College
Dumps
Dump
Cure

More quotes by Jonathan Swift

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A Child will make two Dishes at an Entertainment for Friends and when the Family dines alone, the fore or hind Quarter will makea reasonable Dish and seasoned with a little Pepper or Salt, will be very good Boiled on the fourth Day, especially in Winter.
Jonathan Swift
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In all I wish, how happy should I be, Thou grand Deluder, were it not for thee? So weak thou art that fools thy power despise And yet so strong, thou triumph'st o'er the wise.
Jonathan Swift
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Old men and comets have been reverenced for the same reason: their long beards, and pretences to foretell events.
Jonathan Swift
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Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour.
Jonathan Swift
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You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.
Jonathan Swift
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An atheist has got one point beyond the devil.
Jonathan Swift
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Though fear should lend him pinions like the wind, yet swifter fate will seize him from behind.
Jonathan Swift
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Nothing is so hard for those who abound in riches as to conceive how others can be in want.
Jonathan Swift
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The best Maxim I know in this life is, to drink your Coffee when you can, and when you cannot, to be easy without it. While you continue to be splenetic, count upon it I will always preach. Thus much I sympathize with you that I am not cheerful enough to write, for I believe Coffee once a week is necessary to that.
Jonathan Swift
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Real vision is the ability to see the invisible.
Jonathan Swift
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No preacher is listened to but time, which gives us the same train and turn of thought that elder people have in vain tried to put into our heads before.
Jonathan Swift
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Possession, they say, is eleven points of the law.
Jonathan Swift
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Few are qualified to shine in company, but it is in most men's power to be agreeable.
Jonathan Swift
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There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.
Jonathan Swift
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A wise man will find us to be rogues by our faces.
Jonathan Swift
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I am convinced that if the virtuosi could once find out a world in the moon, with a passage to it, our women would wear nothing but what directly came from thence.
Jonathan Swift
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Vision is seeing the invisible.
Jonathan Swift
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Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.
Jonathan Swift
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Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.
Jonathan Swift
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I'm up and down and round about, Yet all the world can't find me out Though hundreds have employed their leisure, They never yet could find my measure.
Jonathan Swift