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If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Time
Keeps
Distance
Comfort
Makes
Keep
Men

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Religion supposed Heaven and Hell, the word of God, and sacraments, and twenty other circumstances which, taken seriously, are a wonderful check to wit and humour.
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A footman may swear but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy, propriety, and judgment?
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My horses understand me tolerably well I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle they live in great amity with me, and friendship of each other.
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Religion seems to have grown an infant with age, and requires miracles to nurse it, as it had in its infancy.
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Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions.
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The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver's watch may be his god, because it is that which, he admits, he seldom does anything without consulting.
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O Grub Street! how do I bemoan thee, whose graceless children scorn to own thee! . Yet thou hast greater cause to be ashamed of them, than they of thee.
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A carpenter is known by his chips.
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Whence proceeds this weight we lay On what detracting people say? Their utmost malice cannot make Your head, or tooth, or finger ache Nor spoil your shapes, distort your face, Or put one feature out of place.
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Lord, Madame, I have fed like a farmer I shall grow as fat as a porpoise.
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I'll give you leave to call me anything, if you don't call me spade.
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If a man will observe as he walks the streets, I believe he will find the merriest countenances in mourning coaches.
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In church your grandsire cut his throat to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my hearty vote to cut his throat before he married.
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Fine words! I wonder where you stole them.
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I always love to begin a journey on Sundays, because I shall have the prayers of the church to preserve all that travel by land, or water.
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Faith, that's as well said as if I had said it myself.
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Men who possess all the advantages of life are in a state where there are many accidents to disorder and discompose, but few to please them.
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There's none so blind as they that won't see.
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Careful observers may foretell the hour (By sure prognostics) when to dread a show'r. While rain depends, the pensive cat gives o'er Her frolics, and pursues her tail no more.
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Arbitrary power is but the first natural step from anarchy, or the savage life.
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