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My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Knew
Nose
Noses
Kiss
Kissing
Wine
Fool
Drink

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Ever eating, never cloying, All-devouring, all-destroying Never finding full repast, Till I eat the world at last.
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The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.
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The axe of intemperance has lopped off his green boughs and left him a withered trunk.
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There's none so blind as they that won't see.
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Flattery is the worst and falsest way of showing our esteem.
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Big-endians and small-endians.
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The tucked-up sempstress walks with hasty strides, While streams run down her oil'd umbrella's sides.
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In church your grandsire cut his throat to do the job too long he tarried: he should have had my hearty vote to cut his throat before he married.
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Last week I saw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe, how much it altered her person for the worse.
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Interest is the spur of the people, but glory that of great souls. Invention is the talent of youth, and judgment of age.
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No man was ever so completely skilled in the conduct of life, as not to receive new information from age and experience.
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A college joke to cure the dumps.
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Once kick the world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding.
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When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.
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I row after health like a waterman.
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The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier.
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A forward critic often dupes us With sham quotations peri hupsos, And if we have not read Longinus, Will magisterially outshine us. Then, lest with Greek he over-run ye, Procure the book for love or money, Translated from Boileau's translation, And quote quotation on quotation.
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A footman may swear but he cannot swear like a lord. He can swear as often: but can he swear with equal delicacy, propriety, and judgment?
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Coffee makes us severe, and grave and philosophical.
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Fond of those hives where folly reigns, And cards and scandal are the chains, Where the pert virgin slights a name, And scorns to redden into shame.
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