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I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

Jonathan Swift

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Jonathan Swift
Age: 77 †
Born: 1667
Born: November 30
Died: 1745
Died: October 19
Essayist
Human Rights Activist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Pamphleteer
Philosopher
Poet
Priest
Prosaist
Public Figure
Dublin city
Isaac Bickerstaff
M. B. Drapier
Lemuel Gulliver
Simon Wagstaff
Fool
Inspiration
Wonder
Funny
Firsts
First
Invented
Kissing

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Principally I hate and detest that animal called man although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth.
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The tucked-up sempstress walks with hasty strides, While streams run down her oil'd umbrella's sides.
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The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style.
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With a whirl of thought oppressed I sink from reverie to rest. An horrid vision seized my head, I saw the graves give up their dead.
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Big-endians and small-endians.
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Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud and pride and hunger will ever be at variance.
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Ingratitude is amongst them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries: for they reason thus that whoever makes ill-returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of the mankind, from where he has received no obligations and therefore such man is not fit to live.
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This Day, whate'er the Fates decree Shall still be kept with Joy by me: This Day then, let us not be told, That you are sick, and I grown old
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A college joke to cure the dumps.
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Once kick the world, and the world and you will live together at a reasonably good understanding.
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Argument, as usually managed, is the worst sort of conversation, as it is generally in books the worst sort of reading.
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If Heaven had looked upon riches to be a valuable thing, it would not have given them to such a scoundrel.
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