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It was one of those days when every time I went to go out the door, something grabbed me in the back of the brain and said, lie down and masturbate one more time.

Jonathan Ames

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Jonathan Ames
Age: 60
Born: 1964
Born: March 23
Author
Essayist
Novelist
Screenwriter
Writer
New York City
New York
Went
Days
Brain
Lying
Back
Masturbate
Every
Grabbed
Something
Door
Time
Doors

More quotes by Jonathan Ames

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I always liked those characters in 'True Blood' who could turn into animals. I'd love to be an animal of some kind and run quickly through a forest.
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I've always been inspired by Don Quixote as a role model of sorts, of the power of books to sort of make you insane in maybe a beautiful way.
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My sophomore English teacher encouraged me to write for the school paper, and that's what got me started. Suddenly it struck me that being a writer could be a romantic and adventurous position. Previously, I had thought I would be a tennis pro, giving lessons at a local club. I thought that would be a good life, and it might have been.
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I am part of a vast generation of people who perpetually live as if they just graduated from college.
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There are so many talented young writers named Jonathan, with whom by comparison I suffer terribly.
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I hid my underwear beneath a parked Peugeot.
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I've really never written about my relationships, or things like that. I wouldn't want to divulge things that were too private.
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I don't like to publicly acknowledge being a Jew.
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Mostly I have to try to censor myself so as not to write things that will hurt other people, or that will go too far.
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For me, books have always been a way to feel less alone while being alone. Perhaps if I was depressed and isolated, just communicating with these authors through their sentences helped me.
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It seems like the original 'Star Trek' could have gone on longer.
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As a child, I wanted to be an athlete, a professional tennis player or something like that.
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Whether I'm writing scripts or prose, the goal is identical. To give pleasure. Now whether I succeed or not is up for debate, and, mostly, I fail. But I try. I like to make things. It's a way to stay busy during one's ephemeral and confusing life.
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It's hard for me to think of writing a novel, because it takes so long.
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The reason it's hard for me to tweet is I don't want to pronounce anything, and Twitter is for pronouncing.
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One last thing on objectives - I like to make things, create things, so that's probably been the primary objective all along, even before the ego objective - to make. To record. But why record... that gets back to the ego, a little. Oh, well. Making is good. I like to make things.
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I enjoy both TV writing and novel writing, and they are very similar. The goal is to entertain and amuse the audience, and I subscribe to this P.G. Wodehouse piece of advice: Try to give pleasure with every sentence.
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I wish we had a dog in the show so that I could get to be a dog for a day.
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I certainly want to portray the importance of friendship. I had noticed in movies and TV shows that friends often treated one another terribly, and my friends, the few I have, are never cruel to me or unkind, so I wanted to convey that.
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There's no shortage of material in life.
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