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War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
War
Country
Years
Affect
Way
Hasn
Would
Affected
Imagine
Year
Five

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Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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In case you're wondering what we all do here during the commercial breaks, mostly we just sit around making catty remarks about the outfits you're all wearing at home.
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I focus on the task and try and do it as best we can. And we're constantly evolving it, because it's my way of trying to make sense of all these ambivalent feelings I have.
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On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.
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[President Bush] recently challenged Iraqi soldiers still fighting U.S. troops like so: ... 'My answer is bring 'em on.' For those of you who may be criticizing Bush for acting like a movie cowboy, let me remind you. He's actually acting more like a movie cheerleader.
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I think the main thing that has to end is men's defensiveness.
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I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
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[Doogal] wasn't even animated. It was still and the audience had to move.
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The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
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The American people, or at least the ones that I get on the subway with - they know there's a real threat out there. They felt like Iraq lessened our ability to fight that threat.
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If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
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Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.
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Everything in Italian sounds like 'Give me your money or I'm going to beat your @$$'.
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Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
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You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
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Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.
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Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.
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