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One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 62
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Government
Affluent
Country
Relatively
Really
Counts
Things
Crucial
Think
Busy
Thinking
Unless
People
Issues
Foundational
Difficult
Mobilize
More quotes by Jon Stewart
High school. You know, people say, 'I'll never do so-and-so again' - then they do it. So what? Sometimes somebody has crack, and you're looking to stay awake.
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It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're up against Bush and the Republicans - you've got to bring some zing. Don't call them timetables - call them 'Patriot Dates', 'Freedom Deadlines'... 'Glory Goals'.
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President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.
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I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.
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You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.
Jon Stewart
Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.
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Sitting around with funny people, banging out jokes and creating a television show. I have no hobbies, no outside interests. I'm fine with spending 14 hours a day putting a show together with tape and string.
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I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.
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Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer.
Jon Stewart
Following revelations that he fathered a love child, the good Reverend Jesse Jackson - or should we say the 'very' good Reverend - is enduring the scandal with the help of family and friends. A scandal which gives clearer meaning to the Rainbow Coalition's Operation 'Push'.
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To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
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Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay.
Jon Stewart
Our show is obviously at a disadvantage with any of the other news shows we're competing against. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility, we are ... well, oddly enough we're about even.
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I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that. And I always think, Well, why don't you?
Jon Stewart
If we are going to amend the constitution, shouldn't it be to keep the omos-hay from arrying-may?
Jon Stewart
Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.
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When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.
Jon Stewart
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
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Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.
Jon Stewart
Bad jokes, and gay marriage are destroying this country - but torture can save it.
Jon Stewart
