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All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months. You should be coming home to your family.
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
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More quotes by Jon Stewart
To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
Jon Stewart
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.
Jon Stewart
Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
Jon Stewart
The problem with the Tea Party is they're all ignorant hillbillies who drink moonshine and ride around on mules. And they believe in stereotypes too.
Jon Stewart
Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.
Jon Stewart
Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.
Jon Stewart
To the people who are upset about their hard-earned tax money going to things they don’t like: welcome to the f*cking club. Reimburse me for the Iraq war and oil subsidies, and diaphragms are on me!
Jon Stewart
Here it is. My moment of zen.
Jon Stewart
Everybody thought Barack Obama was going to [inspire people] when he came to Washington, but, you know, the Senate seems like the place where smart people go to die.
Jon Stewart
They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?
Jon Stewart
Child: Why on this night do we eat Hot Fudge Sundaes? Adult: To remind us that being Jewish is like having your birthday every day!! Plus they're delicious!
Jon Stewart
If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.
Jon Stewart
Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay.
Jon Stewart
It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.
Jon Stewart
The reason I don’t worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I’ll take those odds every f*cking day.
Jon Stewart
The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
Jon Stewart
It's the same argument people say about the blogs. The blogs are responsible. No, they're not. The blogs are like anything else. You judge each one based on its own veracity and intelligence and all of that.
Jon Stewart
I have a lot of hostility.
Jon Stewart
We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.
Jon Stewart
Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.
Jon Stewart