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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
Jon Stewart
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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
English
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Never
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Spices
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More quotes by Jon Stewart
But the main thing I don't want to be is un-funny. That's really the mandate. Just whatever we're doing, make it as funny as we can possibly make it. And believe me, if the show starts going down, we'll introduce a baby. We'll do everything that they did on `Family Ties.' I'm not afraid of that.
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To have not shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.
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War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.
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I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.
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It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're up against Bush and the Republicans - you've got to bring some zing. Don't call them timetables - call them 'Patriot Dates', 'Freedom Deadlines'... 'Glory Goals'.
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You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden.
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Congress is the Justin Bieber of our government
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It's like hunting cows
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The government that governs best, governs best!
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When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
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Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon.
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When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.
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The more you delve into science, the more it appears to rely on faith.
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I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
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People talk about sexual assault like it's a bad habit that men have.
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The bias of the mainstream media is toward sensationalism, conflict, and laziness.
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The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.
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A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
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I'm also interviewing a guy who's just written a book about his experience living in Iraq, faced with the type of violence as he said, an unimaginable scale. And I think that the combination of that is very hard to shake.
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There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W. Bush. But when that day comes, all we're going to have are tired puns and goofy looks. Because as you would say, we're suffering from the soft bigotry of low expectorations.
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