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I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.

Jon Stewart

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Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Straight
Use
Matter
Thinking
People
Selection
Hole
Holes
Gay

More quotes by Jon Stewart

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The wisdom of the masses is not always wise. You could put a lot of things to a vote-you could have put anti-miscegenation laws to a vote, and that would have passed pretty handily. Either all people are created equal-or they're not. You're either buying into the original premise of America-or you're not.
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They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.
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The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.
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Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, fair and balanced? Why, that's snide! Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan You Can Depend on CNN. Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?
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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
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Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.
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And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a f**k.
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Iran, Ireland, Israel. That's three countries, four religions that HATE each other. Way to go, 'I'.
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After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'
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If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.
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I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, Hey, I'll take the frozen part.
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You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.
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[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.
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The United States Central Command of the Armed Forces has asked Geraldo Rivera to leave Iraq. It should also be noted that the only three other people that the U.S. military has asked to leave Iraq are Saddam Hussein and his two sons.
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I don't think marijuana should be illegal.
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Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?
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If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.
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A guy comes down to earth, takes your sins, dies, and comes back three days later. You believe in him and go to heaven forever. How do you get from that to Hide-The-Eggs? Did Jesus have a problem with eggs? Did he go, When I come back, if I see any eggs, the whole salvation thing is off.
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Nobody says, hey men should not drink. It's all about women must dress differently, women must walk differently, women must drink differently. Why are we not able to hold men to account for this behavior?
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Give me back the $800 billion for the Iraq war and children's television PBS is on the house.
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