Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I can't sing. Never been able to sing. I can't do voices very well. Every impression I do sounds the same. I can't dunk. Man, would I give anything to dunk. Just once.
Jon Stewart
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Jon Stewart
Age: 61
Born: 1962
Born: November 28
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Journalist
Satirist
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Television Producer
Manhattan borough
New York City
Jonathan Jon Stewart
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
Jonathan Stewart
Would
Give
Men
Anything
Dunk
Able
Voices
Wells
Impression
Well
Sounds
Giving
Sing
Every
Sound
Never
Voice
More quotes by Jon Stewart
The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.
Jon Stewart
Don't you dare besmirch the name of Congress. They are patriotic Americans trying to dress and feed themselves.
Jon Stewart
As we approach the millennium with sort of the idea that society is going to start spiraling into chaos, I'd love to be making jokes about that. Who wants to miss out on that? If the world is going to end, I want to be there the night before, goofing off.
Jon Stewart
I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.
Jon Stewart
Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.
Jon Stewart
[Hugh Jackman is] an Adamantium-laced Fred Astaire.
Jon Stewart
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.
Jon Stewart
The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.
Jon Stewart
I still do not understand how a corporation can have person-hood if it has no soul and never dies.
Jon Stewart
If you break someone's leg, shouldn't you have to be the crutch for a while?
Jon Stewart
After going to war against the U.N.'s expressed wishes, the U.S. is now admitting it needs the U.N.'s help. It's the geopolitical equivalent of the 2 a.m. phone call ever parent dreads: 'Mom, I'm not saying I wrecked the car, but I need a ride home.'
Jon Stewart
Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.
Jon Stewart
I'm thrilled to be asked to host the Academy Awards for the second time because, as they say, the third time's a charm.
Jon Stewart
It's very hard to feel the difficulties that the military goes through. It's very hard to feel the difficulties of military families, unless you're in that environment. And sometimes you have to force yourself to try and put yourself in other people's sort of shoes and environment to get the sense of that.
Jon Stewart
When you are actually powerful, you don't need to be petty.
Jon Stewart
Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?
Jon Stewart
We called her Mother Earth. Because she gave birth to us, and then we sucked her dry.
Jon Stewart
Bush's popularity is at 40% in South America? He could be their president!
Jon Stewart
Remember that guy who got gored by a bull and the bull pulled his underwear off and he had to run around the ring naked? If that footage comes out, I'll run that.
Jon Stewart
The President says, We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come.
Jon Stewart
